And then I was talking to Thom as he came in for my last shift at Second Cup and he asked me if I was feeling nostalgic yet and I kind of scoffed because it seemed so ridiculous that I would have any nostalgia about this ridiculous min wage job that produces inordinate amounts of waste and doesn't recycle and where my boss has gotten mad at me for refilling peoples' cups with hot water or giving change for bills. This is a place where we are taught to push extra sales by asking what kind of muffin you would like with that? to make customers think it's free and then charge them for it fully knowing it's stale fatty sugary food. And one time a girl found a tooth in her sandwich. If there's one thing I've learned from Second Cup and maybe corporations in general it's to not trust them because they just care about money. If there's a way to cut costs to the detriment of others, it's likely they'll do it. And then you'll eat it up.
But so then later on in the night as I was cleaning up, picking soggy napkins out of half chewed cups of leftover dregs of coffee and chocolate grinds and coagulated milk solids, cleaning up plates sticky and plasticized with processed shriveled blueberry, an odd moment happened. The Rock'n'Roll Oldies station was playing and Leaving on a Jet Plane came on. Something about that song pulls me viscerally from inside, turns my stomach into a vacuum and generates nostalgia in my whole body. So I started missing my terrible job even while I was doing it. And it was such a ridiculous sequence of events that I felt the need to re-evaluate what I have had and I realized there are elements of this job that are unique, mainly the chance to connect with dozens of people every night. Between midnight and 7AM I have tons of conversations, some good, some uninspired, some fantastic.
I talked with a student recently moved from Taiwan on his own and we talk about how being far from family affects you. In french, I discussed with a man from Iran doing his pH.D and Masters respectively at UQAM and U of Montreal studying Environment and Religion how much time is left before we see some serious consequences of our system and what sustainable development should mean. This cute couple came in, a little tipsy from a few drinks, from Florida and Calgary respectively and couldn't stop smiling at each other and danced and sang a little to the upbeat oldies playing while ordering a coffee and moka. And then Marc came in and talked for a while and drew me a linguistic chart of logic of how piquer un sainte crise doesn't mean sting a holy crisis.
Then a great conversation with a real estate developer about the workings of the real estate market in the past few years and how it's all inflated. And then this grumpy lady got very impatient when I made her a double short instead of a double long.
And so I thought that if I can even feel fortunate towards Second Cup, perhaps the key is the lens through which you look at things, to remember how short-lived this is all going to be so as to make the most of it. If I can even feel good about Second Cup, I should take a minute and take stock of what else I can feel fortunate about. I've heard it's a good exercise for happiness.
Let me just take a minute and count 'em, those things you take for granted until they are gone:
1. Health. This body housing the me. The millions of cells performing a myriad of functions, oxidizing, respiring, repairing, synthesizing, digesting. Whatever you call that sensation when you're moving fast enough that air is blowing throw your hair and across your face and you're breathing deep and fatigue is building slowly in your muscles as they pump hard, your lungs expanding fuller and fuller, trying to compensate for the oxygen deficit and your body is just coursing with life. And to sleep soundly at night.
2. This island city that you forget is an island until you cross a bridge or mount a royal and then you see it from afar or above how it really all fits together, the bagels, the french/english uncertainty, the boroughs, street corners and winter settling in and icing all the cracks and crevices in the city, my first winter in 3 years! and icing over of rinks and the festivals to get you out always out and into le foule, the holes in the walls, the anti-capitalist sentiment, the university and its classes, the practically free french classes, all of us outsiders struggling together to get a handle on french and the french.
3. To be alive in this era, with these all-new challenges and joys and modes of communication and issues being tackled for otherwise I wouldn't know what to do with myself not that I really do anyway.
4. Peeps. The people around me near and far. Thom and Xiang threw me the most epic surprise party on Saturday. I rushed home in the afternoon thinking I was "babysitting" and instead found a house full to the brim with good, good, honest people. They were hiding in the kitchen and gave me the biggest surprise of my life. And they kept pouring out of the kitchen, people I've met from work, from class, from life, all such good people, so human and honest and loving, all doing their best the best they know how. And then we all hung out for the afternoon and everyone got along with everyone cause it's so easy to make friends and be friends, it just requires honesty and a smile. It buoys the spirit. People are so good, they're there to confide in, the laugh with, to share with, to lessen the burden and increase the joy.
5. And my God little Noa is just something else. We go through our phases of friendship, on and off and of course her parents are doing all the legwork here but she's a constant reminder that life is simple and real and beautiful.6. There's more to this list. You could go on forever.
1 comment:
fantastic, love the post
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