Noa asked me on the evening before I left Montreal if I was going to forget her, in it that sweet and earnest way that children do. Hearing her ask it was so unexpected, as if it would be possible for me to forget her that my heart broke as we descended the stairs from my new apartment and made me want to take a drink of cold water and squeeze her tight and take a deep breath of the crisp autumn air that is finally filling this area, wanting to not leave and also leave at the same time, feeling the love of all my surroundings, wanting to come back to this good life before I had even left. I wanted to pause the summer-autumn season and these millenial times in this energetic age, surrounded by a community of family and friends and fellows and laughs and trees and projects and girls, scared that it will be gone or different when I come back but of course it will be different.
Now the sun sets on this bus passing fields of maturing and brown fields of corn then soy beans then corn and corn again then soy and occasionally a field of hay or green winter rye coming up in straight rows oriented North-South. GO trains and busses and planes are aligned heading west towards the setting sun in all it's purple and orange warmth morphing colours and shapes. I don't take my eyes off the horizon for fear that I'll miss the action, wishing for an impossible-bottle that would finally capture the expansiveness of a sunset and the way it swallows everything and reminds you how big the sky is, knowing that the passing of time is and has always been moments beginning and ending with no beginning or end. The late evening now morphs slowly, highlighted clouds drifting over and under each other, the pitch-by-pitch darkening of tree shadows, birch, spruce and pine lining the highway, lights on cars white and red racing towards and away from Montreal into the rest of the night and tomorrow.
It is an absolute privilege to travel, to be loved, to have had the upbringing I've had and to be where I am and able to do the things I do. I want to recognise and honour my good fortune, pour this gratitude into the actions of my hands and feet and eyes and mouth and ears.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
A New Normal
Since I have only a few days left in Montreal before I head out to Ontario then California then Hong Kong, I've been running around saying my farewells to all the good people. I went to say goodbye to Anne, a friend and mother of a friend, while she was coordinating an anti-ageism group. I couldn't stay long but the hour I did get to spend listening was inspiring.
One woman talked about how aging has made her feel like she's losing power and authority. That now when she talks to people, she sees they have more reasons to disregard what she says, due to their conception of her age and associated memory loss and people pay less attention to her. Then Anne talked about how elderly people see themselves as young always, that for example even after needing knee surgery and needing to ask if people remember where you put your cane and oh it's a bother but you don't see yourself as that person with the cane, and that ageism like any sexism, racism, is part internal and about how you view yourself. And then another elderly lady talked about how she gets looks from people when she says she goes to the bar for a drink and she says to them well yeah of course, I been doing that my whole life, I ain't gonna stop now and she takes the bus at 1am to go home and people say hey you can't be doing that and she says well yes I can, why not? and if you want to be treated like you're independent then you have to show you're independent and there's a whole new demographic today of people over 80, it's a new world. There has never been this in the past, hell her mother had the biggest party on her 50th birthday because that was so rare back then, I mean she's coming from the era of the horse and buggy and so today, the older generation is blazing a path for the younger generation, of how to age and how our society is going to view and treat people and see what they are capable of.
One woman talked about how aging has made her feel like she's losing power and authority. That now when she talks to people, she sees they have more reasons to disregard what she says, due to their conception of her age and associated memory loss and people pay less attention to her. Then Anne talked about how elderly people see themselves as young always, that for example even after needing knee surgery and needing to ask if people remember where you put your cane and oh it's a bother but you don't see yourself as that person with the cane, and that ageism like any sexism, racism, is part internal and about how you view yourself. And then another elderly lady talked about how she gets looks from people when she says she goes to the bar for a drink and she says to them well yeah of course, I been doing that my whole life, I ain't gonna stop now and she takes the bus at 1am to go home and people say hey you can't be doing that and she says well yes I can, why not? and if you want to be treated like you're independent then you have to show you're independent and there's a whole new demographic today of people over 80, it's a new world. There has never been this in the past, hell her mother had the biggest party on her 50th birthday because that was so rare back then, I mean she's coming from the era of the horse and buggy and so today, the older generation is blazing a path for the younger generation, of how to age and how our society is going to view and treat people and see what they are capable of.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)